No, I don't want to hold your baby

I'm going to drop it.

Cat People

How, how,  I ask you how, does one creature manage to look both hopelessly vulnerable and disdainfully superior at the same time? It infuriates me. I don't understand cat people, and frankly, it makes me respect them just that little less. And don't get me started on men, men should not own cats. There is something about a man who talks with genuine affection about his cat's daily shenanigans that screams "I live at home with my mother's elegantly dressed corpse and if you walk home alone tonight, I am going to serial murder you and sew your skin into a hat!"

Nobody wants to have sex with cat people.

Future Motherhood

I think a good strategy to ensure an obedient, docile child would be to give it up for adoption. A few years in foster care should instill a certain appreciation for the simple things like food and water and not being molested. Adopt your child but never tell them the truth except for on your death bed because it will probably be pretty funny by then if you raised them with a sense of humour.